自私并不可怕，从人性本能到儒家仁爱
<section style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto; width: 93%; visibility: visible;" data-width="93%"><section style="color: rgb(160, 160, 160); margin-bottom: unset; visibility: visible;"><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 15px; visibility: visible;">小编导读：自私是人性本能，儒家教你如何超越“小我”，走向真正的仁爱成长。</span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 15px; visibility: visible;">本文约1200字。</span></p></section></section><p><section style="margin-bottom: unset; visibility: visible;"><section class="mp_search_iframe_wrp" style="visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><mp-common-search class="js_mpsearch appmsg_search_iframe js_uneditable custom_select_card mp_common_widget js_wx_tap_highlight" data-headimg="http://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/JKMmqSdmahDKxoJVxaFNc16BHxia06GiaXvJhbEXicEzx6ROglLfpfM9ibsrZIDJ9AZ1kPTojsR6gJ7dwBey7UXS2icQTRcOicz6KdM9k5ECx7EWJs8lYnxibe9nZBqaWiaV9LgD/64" data-keywords="%5B%7B%22label%22%3A%22%E8%87%AA%E7%A7%81%22%7D%2C%7B%22label%22%3A%22%E5%84%92%E5%AE%B6%E4%BF%AE%E8%BA%AB%22%7D%2C%7B%22label%22%3A%22%E4%BA%BA%E6%80%A7%E6%9C%AC%E8%83%BD%22%7D%2C%7B%22label%22%3A%22%E9%81%93%E5%BE%B7%E6%88%90%E9%95%BF%22%7D%5D" data-nickname="心源照见" data-pluginname="insertsearch" style="visibility: visible;"></mp-common-search></span></section></section><section style="margin-bottom: unset; visibility: visible;"><section style="width: 4.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-bottom: -20px; visibility: visible;"><p style="visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" data-ratio="1.0581717451523547" data-w="361" style="display: block; width: 76.5px !important; vertical-align: bottom; height: auto !important; visibility: visible !important;" data-imgfileid="100015104" src="https://www.shfq.com/plugin.php?id=wcn_editor:wx_img&url=https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/Ljib4So7yuWiaaHzFA0K0Ytvn4ONiblo6W4uCcMeguOAktXGIxrEvylxPgQDM6MVOeZJ4Ko1iamDOIgfvMT4ZA8rpA/640?wx_fmt=png&tp=wxpic&wxfrom=5&wx_lazy=1#imgIndex=0" data-original-style="display: block;width: auto;vertical-align: bottom;height: auto !important;" data-index="2" _width="auto" alt="图片" data-before-load-time="1768301221677" data-report-img-idx="0" data-fail="0"/></span></p></section><section style="margin-bottom: unset; visibility: visible;"><p style="text-shadow: rgb(160, 160, 160) 1px 1px, rgb(160, 160, 160) 1px -1px, rgb(160, 160, 160) -1px 1px, rgb(160, 160, 160) -1px -1px, rgb(160, 160, 160) 0px 1.4px, rgb(160, 160, 160) 0px -1.4px, rgb(160, 160, 160) -1.4px 0px, rgb(160, 160, 160) 1.4px 0px; letter-spacing: 4px; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span></p><section style="width: 5em; margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto; visibility: visible;"><p style="visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span></p><p style="visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><img class="rich_pages wxw-img" data-ratio="0.1357142857142857" data-w="140" style="display: block; vertical-align: bottom; height: auto !important; visibility: visible !important; width: 85px !important;" data-imgfileid="100015101" src="https://www.shfq.com/plugin.php?id=wcn_editor:wx_img&url=https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/Ljib4So7yuWjdEYibkibb8dduJsyodF427QocIQnUr4zkJ0bAaY36NWmeiakevnicauD42jZAe2B1nEgNM1HlczOEzQ/640?wx_fmt=png&tp=wxpic&wxfrom=5&wx_lazy=1#imgIndex=1" data-original-style="display: block;vertical-align: bottom;height: auto !important;" data-index="3" _width="140px" alt="图片" data-before-load-time="1768301221677" data-report-img-idx="1" data-fail="0"/></span></p></section></section></section><section style="margin-bottom: unset; visibility: visible;"><section style="background-color: rgb(254, 254, 254); padding: 15px; margin: 10px; visibility: visible;"><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; text-align: justify; margin-bottom: 16px; line-height: 2em; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible;">问曰：可否请老师在这里把“自私”的概念重新再阐述一下，因为在现代心理学里面有一些概念，像“小我”，或者人本主义里面有提到“儿童状态”，然后</span></span><span style="font-family: 宋体; color: rgb(255, 0, 0); visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible;">“家庭排列系统”</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible;">里面有提到“个人良知”。它们都对“自私”有一个另外的定义，大家会更清晰，会更直观地去看。因为“自私”这个词非常的生活化，我们这一讲的自私，可能会令大家有一种误解。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><span textstyle="" style="font-weight: bold; visibility: visible;">自私：人性之本</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; visibility: visible;">答曰：很多人对“自私”这个词有反感，这是因为儒家把我们的精神世界拔高了。我们觉得自私是被社会所排斥的。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><br style="visibility: visible;"/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-family: 宋体; visibility: visible;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em; visibility: visible;"><span leaf="" style="visibility: visible;"><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; font-weight: bold; visibility: visible;">首先自私是人性，它是人性里，人的本性部分。惰性和自私，是人的本性中最常见的，还有逃避、趋利避凶，这些都是人的本性。认识到自私是人的本性</span><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; visibility: visible;">，</span><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 1px; font-weight: bold; visibility: visible;">自私并不可怕。</span></span></span></span></p><section style="visibility: visible;"><section style="display: inline-block; visibility: visible;"><img data-ratio="0.75" data-type="jpg" data-w="1080" style="height: auto !important; visibility: visible !important; width: 627px !important;" src="https://www.shfq.com/plugin.php?id=wcn_editor:wx_img&url=https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/sz_mmbiz_jpg/2OicA8EaOjCdZA8Z7QYYy2eqwDabTkfquz6Uw3lAzR1mOEoBxJy3jQqib3cMZpEqaJgyYnYotuAsIPwCtRdPEJfw/640?wx_fmt=jpeg&tp=wxpic&wxfrom=5&wx_lazy=1#imgIndex=2" data-original-style="height: auto !important;" data-index="4" class="" _width="677px" alt="图片" data-before-load-time="1768301221677" data-report-img-idx="2" data-fail="0"/></section></section><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""></span></span></span><br/></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 20px;font-weight: bold;">儒家论“克己”</span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span leaf=""><br/></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">从儒家修身的角度来说，不是说自私是一个很可耻的行为，关键是克服自私。修身的过程是一个克服自私的过程，由自私走向仁爱。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孔子对大家要求没那么高，不提泛爱。当然如果你属于少数人有强烈的社会责任感，人性非常的善良，你可以泛爱。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">做公益当然是好，你甚至可以无我。</span><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;font-weight: bold;">但是对于普通人来讲，做到仁爱就已经非常好了</span><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">。按照《论语》的说法，修身是一个任重而道远的过程。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">我们不要对“自私”这个词那么敏感。像我自己都经常在审视我自私的一面，《论语》提出“三省吾身”，我每天也想今天做的事情，有没有哪件事情是有自私的一面。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-weight: bold;">从私到仁</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">从私到义，这是一个过程；从义到仁，又是一个过程。每个人都希望为自己获取利益，但是你在获取利益的时候，对利益的分配是否公平？进一步说“仁者爱人”，你是否有把利益让给与你利益相关的人，你看到利益相关人的付出，更多地考虑到对方的利益。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-weight: bold;">心理学的视角</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">所谓“仁”，就是“上半夜想自己，下半夜想别人”。</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"></span></span><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">人类的注意力高度发达，这会导致，如果你关注自己利益，就容易忽视别人的利益。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">你自私的话，往往看不到别人的付出，你只看到自己的付出，你觉得这些东西就都该是你的，因为你付出了。</span></span></span></span></p><section><section style="display: inline-block;"><img data-ratio="0.75" data-type="jpg" data-w="1080" style="height: auto !important; visibility: visible !important; width: 627px !important;" src="https://www.shfq.com/plugin.php?id=wcn_editor:wx_img&url=https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/sz_mmbiz_jpg/2OicA8EaOjCdZA8Z7QYYy2eqwDabTkfquAVTibWvqNISJS0at8uh00PVWCUhdoL3KBVPjFjvsDO2aUylMgqmmicVw/640?wx_fmt=jpeg&tp=wxpic&wxfrom=5&wx_lazy=1#imgIndex=3" data-original-style="height: auto !important;" data-index="5" class="" _width="677px" alt="图片" data-before-load-time="1768301226615" data-report-img-idx="3" data-fail="0"/></section></section><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""></span></span></span><br/></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-weight: bold;">修身即成长</span></span></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><br/></span></span></p><p style="letter-spacing: 2px;"><span style="font-family: 宋体;"><span style="font-size: 1.5em;"><span leaf=""><span textstyle="" style="font-size: 17px;letter-spacing: 1px;">所以我们要求心中有别人。仁之后，就是泛爱。泛爱就无我了，那是更高的一个层次。这是修身的一个过程，所以不要一来就用绝对的无私去要求别人。</span></span></span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: 24px; 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